








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 300 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6964 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3908 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5260 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4411 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $443,284 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StoanHupfa | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | brunski-iwnl- | 60% | 57 |
| #3 | Vipex | 57% | 96 |
| #4 | lex@suzume | 56% | 71 |
| #5 | Hirschy#desertfox | 55% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | lex@suzume | 56% | 71 |
| #5 | Hirschy#desertfox | 55% | 154 |
| #6 | jaer | 52% | 197 |
| #7 | Gladios #bärig | 47% | 81 |
| #8 | HonigDachs83 | 43% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaer | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Hirschy#desertfox | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | brunski-iwnl- | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Vipex | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | HonigDachs83 | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaer | 589 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | Hirschy#desertfox | 214 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Vipex | 170 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | HonigDachs83 | 123 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gladios #bärig | 122 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quisG | +1.81 | 79 | 75 |
| #2 | brunski-iwnl- | +1.22 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | StoanHupfa | +1.05 | 69 | 67 |
| #4 | Gladios #bärig | -0.01 | 77 | 62 |
| #5 | lex@suzume | -0.48 | 71 | 63 |





