








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 375 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4834 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8475 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6730 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5825 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6308 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $675,734 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | BROSEIDON | 46% | 69 |
| #10 | ✪ Avid | 46% | 35 |
| #11 | Rayne | 45% | 66 |
| #12 | flea | 45% | 31 |
| #13 | swilLy | 45% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rayne | 11 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | swilLy | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Bernardâ™› | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Sqerl | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Popsicc (Popsicc) | 5 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Popsicc (Popsicc) | 1068 | 0.26 | 27 min |
| #2 | Tazmo | 612 | 0.35 | 18 min |
| #3 | Void_NGU | 448 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | swilLy | 431 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #5 | Sqerl | 395 | 0.23 | 11 min |





