








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 331 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7430 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5062 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5260 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3716 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3717 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,039,114 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 569 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Levi | 57% | 215 |
| #2 | Tazmo | 55% | 77 |
| #3 | swilLy | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Sqerl | 53% | 121 |
| #5 | ZigZee | 53% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sqerl | 15 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Levi | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Rayne | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Tazmo | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | BLACK JIMMY | 5 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Levi | 622 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | ZigZee | 598 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #3 | Tazmo | 597 | 0.36 | 18 min |
| #4 | Sqerl | 578 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #5 | Rayne | 247 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Void_NGU | +3.27 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | swilLy | +1.12 | 85 | 74 |
| #3 | Tazmo | +0.40 | 81 | 72 |
| #4 | Levi | +0.14 | 71 | 67 |
| #5 | ZigZee | -0.60 | 67 | 73 |





