








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 592 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4656 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3253 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3231 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3285 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $353,058 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 589 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Bernardâ™› | 53% | 70 |
| #8 | ZigZee | 48% | 196 |
| #9 | flea | 47% | 17 |
| #10 | Snow Quack | 44% | 16 |
| #11 | swilLy | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZigZee | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | swilLy | 6 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | Bernardâ™› | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Rayne | 3 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | Z$ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZigZee | 737 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #2 | Bernardâ™› | 243 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | swilLy | 131 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Z$ | 124 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Tazmo | 121 | 0.29 | 4 min |





