








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,082 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1506 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1752 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1566 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1258 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $279,347 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TJ | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | gloryd | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | pseudo | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | Муха | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | thrice | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Pliski13 | 38% | 55 |
| #11 | ☆ Skyttles | 32% | 22 |
| #12 | Valder | 29% | 14 |
| #13 | hanseN | 25% | 8 |
| #14 | mollyislame | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pliski13 | 6 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | jaspeЯ | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | thrice | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | TJ | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | NickH | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaspeЯ | 147 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | Pliski13 | 128 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | thrice | 126 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #4 | NickH | 117 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | pseudo | 109 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NickH | +4.84 | 70 | 74 |
| #2 | thrice | +3.33 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | TJ | +3.26 | 61 | 57 |
| #4 | Муха | +2.10 | 67 | 65 |
| #5 | gloryd | +1.56 | 52 | 61 |





