








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1016 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,052 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 297 | 10% |
| Smokes | 847 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 897 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1011 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $740,806 of utility $274 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 270 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pseudo | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | NickH | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | RejectedNinja | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Муха | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | TJ | 52% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | PattySlay | 52% | 29 |
| #7 | Pliski13 | 39% | 107 |
| #8 | jaspeЯ | 39% | 75 |
| #9 | Rowdy | 32% | 22 |
| #10 | Valder | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pliski13 | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | TJ | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | NickH | 2 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | PattySlay | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | RejectedNinja | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pliski13 | 270 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | jaspeЯ | 230 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | NickH | 59 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #4 | pseudo | 46 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #5 | PattySlay | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NickH | +6.00 | 88 | 73 |
| #2 | Муха | +2.97 | 65 | 53 |
| #3 | TJ | +2.57 | 68 | 57 |
| #4 | Pliski13 | +1.22 | 64 | 62 |
| #5 | pseudo | +0.81 | 47 | 67 |





