








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 300 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3931 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,392 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7114 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5265 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3147 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3866 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $923,662 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | jimmypoP! | 41% | 68 |
| #10 | Rowdy | 41% | 22 |
| #11 | jaspeЯ | 38% | 55 |
| #12 | Pliski13 | 38% | 42 |
| #13 | hanseN | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thrice | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | mollyislame | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Pliski13 | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | jaspeЯ | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | jimmypoP! | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thrice | 695 | 0.29 | 17 min |
| #2 | pseudo | 229 | 0.33 | 5 min |
| #3 | M4NUP | 156 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | LamB | 153 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | jaspeЯ | 140 | 0.12 | 4 min |





