










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 304 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
997 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2306 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2246 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 643 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 588 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $326,348 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maZe. | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | UnePouleSDF | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | IkuOtaM ʕ ● ᴥ ●ʔ | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | [RVL]éclair15 | 62% | 53 |
| #5 | La Belle Couille | 59% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | loissiol | 50% | 16 |
| #12 | StawKk 🦢 | 49% | 43 |
| #13 | Saquemerlin | 47% | 19 |
| #14 | Gith@ne | 33% | 12 |
| #15 | Persephone | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StawKk 🦢 | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | [RVL]éclair15 | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | La Belle Couille | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | lexoseb36(fr) | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | CabilCouille o_O | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StawKk 🦢 | 168 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | lexoseb36(fr) | 133 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | CabilCouille o_O | 113 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | La Belle Couille | 47 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | [RVL]éclair15 | 37 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [RVL]éclair15 | +3.63 | 68 | 44 |
| #2 | StawKk 🦢 | +2.73 | 76 | 57 |
| #3 | CabilCouille o_O | +2.12 | 64 | 47 |
| #4 | IkuOtaM ʕ ● ᴥ ●ʔ | +2.12 | 63 | 58 |
| #5 | maZe. | +1.67 | 61 | 57 |





