








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,717 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 960 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1654 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 351 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 752 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $232,220 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [RVL]éclair15 | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | < Jox > | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | UnePouleSDF | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | lexoseb36(fr) | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | Fatum GC | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | [TSS] supertails120 | 46% | 46 |
| #8 | La Belle Couille | 44% | 9 |
| #9 | loissiol | 38% | 37 |
| #10 | Jeff Tuche | 33% | 12 |
| #11 | NLK | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [TSS] supertails120 | 10 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | CabilCouille o_O | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | loissiol | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | UnePouleSDF | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | lexoseb36(fr) | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CabilCouille o_O | 198 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Fatum GC | 93 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | UnePouleSDF | 51 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | lexoseb36(fr) | 46 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | loissiol | 36 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [RVL]éclair15 | +4.27 | 70 | 28 |
| #2 | NLK | +3.82 | 75 | 50 |
| #3 | < Jox > | +3.45 | 65 | 70 |
| #4 | Jeff Tuche | +3.17 | 37 | 34 |
| #5 | CabilCouille o_O | +2.13 | 69 | 46 |





