








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 875 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 443 matches | ||
| Faceit | 232 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




121 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9505 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6015 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 7649 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6311 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,144,346 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swoffmiester | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | obiiking | 60% | 166 |
| #3 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 59% | 58 |
| #4 | Havok | 57% | 77 |
| #5 | YKNSE | 56% | 227 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | j1v | 52% | 58 |
| #10 | flairr | 52% | 254 |
| #11 | MasterAce <3 | 49% | 132 |
| #12 | yeji | 48% | 52 |
| #13 | Georgiii | 46% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YKNSE | 1395 | 0.28 | 32 min |
| #2 | flairr | 744 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #3 | obiiking | 669 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #4 | Exzotikk(LFT) | 429 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | j1v | 378 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeji | +3.36 | 87 | 59 |
| #2 | j1v | +1.99 | 78 | 63 |
| #3 | GhostRob | +1.78 | 58 | 67 |
| #4 | z | +1.20 | 84 | 66 |
| #5 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | +1.07 | 72 | 71 |





