








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 362 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 173 matches | ||
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9229 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6963 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4721 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 6667 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $989,324 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 327 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ Soulidity ♡ | 52% | 106 |
| #2 | certified ouppy | 52% | 56 |
| #3 | Oh_No_Melon | 52% | 64 |
| #4 | Sunxer | 49% | 114 |
| #5 | ⒻⓇⒶⓎⒿⒶ | 49% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Sunxer | 49% | 114 |
| #5 | ⒻⓇⒶⓎⒿⒶ | 49% | 135 |
| #6 | ♡ | 46% | 65 |
| #7 | everyones favorite dog | 44% | 45 |
| #8 | Sнιvαиεε | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | everyones favorite dog | 7 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Sunxer | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Oh_No_Melon | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | certified ouppy | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | ♡ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunxer | 455 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | ⒻⓇⒶⓎⒿⒶ | 408 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | ♡ Soulidity ♡ | 308 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | ♡ | 146 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sнιvαиεε | 130 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | certified ouppy | +1.68 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | ♡ | +1.35 | 66 | 55 |
| #3 | ♡ Soulidity ♡ | +1.30 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | Reef | +0.89 | 62 | 69 |
| #5 | Sunxer | +0.16 | 60 | 58 |





