








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2265 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2524 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1950 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2477 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $930,530 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reef | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | J0bro | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | Brensylvania | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | ✪ Entity | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Sнιvαиεε | 47% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⒻⓇⒶⓎⒿⒶ | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | KILL | 6 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | Brensylvania | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Reef | 4 | 0.0114 |
| #5 | Reef | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⒻⓇⒶⓎⒿⒶ | 711 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | Reef | 341 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #3 | J0bro | 226 | 0.38 | 7 min |
| #4 | Oh_No_Melon | 168 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sнιvαиεε | 157 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ Soulidity ♡ | +4.40 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | Reef | +3.02 | 64 | 68 |
| #3 | ♡ | +1.71 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | Reef | +1.70 | 56 | 75 |
| #5 | Ding Ding | +1.42 | 71 | 54 |





