








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2070 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2148 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1806 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1427 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2315 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $267,146 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jax | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | 2P0lar | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Freak Nasty | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | certified ouppy | 56% | 41 |
| #5 | WOODSTEP | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Sapphire | 47% | 15 |
| #11 | Starlene | 41% | 39 |
| #12 | cy ツ | 41% | 22 |
| #13 | ✪ St0rm | 39% | 28 |
| #14 | jelly | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freak Nasty | 4 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | WOODSTEP | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Reef | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | certified ouppy | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | ava | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reef | 646 | 0.26 | 18 min |
| #2 | Freak Nasty | 149 | 0.35 | 4 min |
| #3 | Starlene | 119 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | cy ツ | 95 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | certified ouppy | 89 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freak Nasty | +5.77 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | certified ouppy | +1.71 | 76 | 58 |
| #3 | Jax | +0.85 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | cy ツ | +0.60 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | Sunxer | +0.47 | 59 | 57 |





