








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 374 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4517 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2869 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5009 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3379 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5771 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,156,683 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ♡ | 46% | 98 |
| #8 | Sнιvαиεε | 46% | 70 |
| #9 | ⒻⓇⒶⓎⒿⒶ | 46% | 232 |
| #10 | eHEL #dudes | 45% | 33 |
| #11 | tbear | 38% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⒻⓇⒶⓎⒿⒶ | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | MattR | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Reef | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | eHEL #dudes | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | ♡ | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⒻⓇⒶⓎⒿⒶ | 824 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #2 | Reef | 338 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #3 | ♡ | 263 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | Sнιvαиεε | 245 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | MattR | 230 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MattR | +3.09 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | Reef | +2.09 | 59 | 72 |
| #3 | ♡ | +1.67 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | Reef | +1.23 | 59 | 78 |
| #5 | tbear | +1.13 | 71 | 66 |





