








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7170 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1620 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 4551 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3917 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,814,017 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 361 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Roxi | 42% | 121 |
| #9 | tbear | 40% | 86 |
| #10 | Sнιvαиεε | 39% | 119 |
| #11 | KILL | 36% | 56 |
| #12 | Ding Ding | 29% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Reef | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Reef | 8 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | KILL | 7 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Sнιvαиεε | 6 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ | 674 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | Reef | 659 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #3 | Sнιvαиεε | 446 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | Oh_No_Melon | 415 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Roxi | 359 | 0.14 | 8 min |





