








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 567 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5908 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5563 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5135 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4085 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4776 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $711,126 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 331 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rhux | 63% | 40 |
| #2 | Precum Manifest | 61% | 59 |
| #3 | Swiftrunner | 61% | 132 |
| #4 | Bahtman | 59% | 150 |
| #5 | Isaak | 57% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Bahtman | 59% | 150 |
| #5 | Isaak | 57% | 46 |
| #6 | Pentry | 55% | 368 |
| #7 | Thomazze | 51% | 41 |
| #8 | JHawk™ | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pentry | 20 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Swiftrunner | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Bahtman | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Rhux | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Precum Manifest | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pentry | 1119 | 0.15 | 31 min |
| #2 | Swiftrunner | 554 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #3 | Bahtman | 318 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | Precum Manifest | 177 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Isaak | 160 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Th3Sentinel | +3.93 | 85 | 67 |
| #2 | Rhux | +2.93 | 86 | 67 |
| #3 | Swiftrunner | +0.99 | 82 | 67 |
| #4 | Isaak | +0.77 | 56 | 65 |
| #5 | Bahtman | +0.67 | 76 | 73 |





