








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1277 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,911 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1657 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1679 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1147 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1428 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $261,511 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Precum Manifest | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Th3Sentinel | 61% | 132 |
| #3 | Bahtman | 60% | 58 |
| #4 | Pentry | 58% | 107 |
| #5 | Thomazze | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Pentry | 58% | 107 |
| #5 | Thomazze | 54% | 28 |
| #6 | Rivimi | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | Isaak | 47% | 17 |
| #8 | JHawk™ | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Th3Sentinel | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Pentry | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Bahtman | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Precum Manifest | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Isaak | 2 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Th3Sentinel | 541 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | Pentry | 311 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Bahtman | 117 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Precum Manifest | 83 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Isaak | 62 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Th3Sentinel | +3.85 | 85 | 67 |
| #2 | Swiftrunner | +0.89 | 81 | 68 |
| #3 | Isaak | +0.49 | 58 | 59 |
| #4 | Bahtman | +0.29 | 79 | 71 |
| #5 | Thomazze | -0.40 | 85 | 63 |





