








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2270 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2167 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1551 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1761 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $416,493 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perndi | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | Grillmeister | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Perndii | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | MUFASA | 51% | 117 |
| #5 | DonIndigo | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MUFASA | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Perndi | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Drak0n | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Jayzanity | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Grillmeister | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MUFASA | 415 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Jayzanity | 116 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Drak0n | 101 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Perndi | 99 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Coooookie | 74 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perndi | +3.88 | 67 | 70 |
| #2 | Perndii | +3.08 | 52 | 76 |
| #3 | EY-YO CHICO | +3.02 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | Jayzanity | +0.06 | 58 | 64 |
| #5 | Grillmeister | -0.23 | 63 | 66 |





