








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
438 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 642 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 191 | 30% |
| Smokes | 120 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 238 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 93 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $322,810 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AssKiss | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | NastyGulag fighter Kermit2 | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | Bacca | 41% | 110 |
| #4 | Josh | 39% | 101 |
| #5 | Bas | 38% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bas | 38% | 102 |
| #6 | Petrophagus | 37% | 43 |
| #7 | Rubirian | 37% | 43 |
| #8 | PiXXoN | 31% | 29 |
| #9 | ✪ tez1fyy | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bacca | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Bas | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Josh | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Petrophagus | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Rubirian | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bacca | 690 | 0.32 | 18 min |
| #2 | Bas | 561 | 0.27 | 16 min |
| #3 | Josh | 114 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Rubirian | 91 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | PiXXoN | 72 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bas | +4.00 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | Bacca | +3.96 | 77 | 70 |
| #3 | NastyGulag fighter Kermit2 | +0.96 | 61 | 66 |
| #4 | ✪ tez1fyy | +0.05 | 87 | 55 |
| #5 | Rubirian | -0.27 | 69 | 53 |





