








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,432 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 890 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1683 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1944 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1915 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $752,950 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SeniFknWaffle | 74% | 97 |
| #2 | JimFknMy | 71% | 101 |
| #3 | JoFknLines | 65% | 189 |
| #4 | PeFknLongui | 64% | 25 |
| #5 | k11 | 64% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SimonFknSay | 32 | 0.0184 |
| #2 | SeniFknWaffle | 26 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | JoFknLines | 24 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | k11 | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Isma06 | 4 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoFknLines | 803 | 0.24 | 23 min |
| #2 | SimonFknSay | 559 | 0.32 | 13 min |
| #3 | SeniFknWaffle | 200 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | k11 | 177 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | JimFknMy | 140 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoFknLines | +5.18 | 76 | 75 |
| #2 | SeniFknWaffle | +2.32 | 68 | 59 |
| #3 | JimFknMy | +2.11 | 73 | 63 |
| #4 | k11 | +1.59 | 70 | 61 |
| #5 | SimonFknSay | +1.47 | 68 | 63 |





