








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 769 | 27% |
| Smokes | 915 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 751 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 457 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $550,531 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 91an | 57% | 40 |
| #2 | Zakai | 55% | 113 |
| #3 | longdick$tyle☂ | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | ✪ Egoo | 52% | 149 |
| #5 | velonym | 51% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | longdick$tyle☂ | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | ✪ Egoo | 52% | 149 |
| #5 | velonym | 51% | 166 |
| #6 | Feyk シ | 49% | 78 |
| #7 | BlueSoD | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zakai | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Feyk シ | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | longdick$tyle☂ | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | velonym | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ✪ Egoo | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Egoo | 385 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Feyk シ | 331 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | velonym | 309 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Zakai | 191 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | longdick$tyle☂ | 133 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | velonym | +2.84 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | Feyk シ | +0.61 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | Zakai | +0.25 | 58 | 63 |
| #4 | ✪ Egoo | -0.34 | 63 | 66 |
| #5 | BeaverN☂ | -1.17 | 67 | 45 |





