








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1544 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1130 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1270 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1061 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $209,842 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeaverN☂ | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | Zakai | 49% | 51 |
| #3 | velonym | 49% | 98 |
| #4 | ✪ Egoo | 49% | 92 |
| #5 | Feyk シ | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | velonym | 49% | 98 |
| #4 | ✪ Egoo | 49% | 92 |
| #5 | Feyk シ | 48% | 42 |
| #6 | 91an | 46% | 28 |
| #7 | BlueSoD | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | velonym | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | ✪ Egoo | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | BeaverN☂ | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Zakai | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | BlueSoD | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Egoo | 231 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | velonym | 164 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Feyk シ | 157 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Zakai | 75 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | BeaverN☂ | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | velonym | +3.88 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | Feyk シ | +1.65 | 73 | 70 |
| #3 | Zakai | +0.61 | 55 | 61 |
| #4 | ✪ Egoo | +0.41 | 66 | 65 |
| #5 | 91an | -0.03 | 54 | 53 |





