








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2012 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 406 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Esplay | 6 matches | 1,762 | |
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 181 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7026 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,767 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9489 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7616 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7639 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5023 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,514,965 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 870 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zakai | 55% | 213 |
| #2 | velonym | 52% | 469 |
| #3 | ✪ Egoo | 49% | 367 |
| #4 | 91an | 49% | 173 |
| #5 | BlueSoD | 49% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Egoo | 17 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Mystiska Röven I Källarfönstret | 11 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Zakai | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | JoLoF | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | 91an | 7 | 0.0020 |





