








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1610 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 545 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,728 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,664 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6217 | 22% |
| Smokes | 10097 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 5703 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5647 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,336,040 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 605 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zakai | 54% | 369 |
| #2 | Feyk シ | 52% | 469 |
| #3 | 91an | 51% | 167 |
| #4 | ✪ Egoo | 51% | 641 |
| #5 | BeaverN☂ | 51% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 91an | 51% | 167 |
| #4 | ✪ Egoo | 51% | 641 |
| #5 | BeaverN☂ | 51% | 166 |
| #6 | longdick$tyle☂ | 49% | 98 |
| #7 | BlueSoD | 44% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Egoo | 25 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Feyk シ | 24 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Zakai | 19 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | longdick$tyle☂ | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | 91an | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feyk シ | 1863 | 0.19 | 51 min |
| #2 | ✪ Egoo | 1653 | 0.13 | 45 min |
| #3 | Zakai | 566 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #4 | longdick$tyle☂ | 355 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #5 | BeaverN☂ | 189 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | velonym | +3.36 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | Zakai | +0.39 | 55 | 62 |
| #3 | Feyk シ | +0.33 | 66 | 70 |
| #4 | ✪ Egoo | -0.65 | 61 | 66 |
| #5 | 91an | -1.22 | 52 | 51 |





