








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 910 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 474 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Esplay | 38 matches | 1,669 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6070 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,080 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8402 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7808 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7335 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5535 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,983,451 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zakai | 52% | 296 |
| #2 | BeaverN☂ | 52% | 149 |
| #3 | velonym | 51% | 641 |
| #4 | 91an | 50% | 131 |
| #5 | Feyk シ | 49% | 367 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | velonym | 51% | 641 |
| #4 | 91an | 50% | 131 |
| #5 | Feyk シ | 49% | 367 |
| #6 | longdick$tyle☂ | 49% | 92 |
| #7 | BlueSoD | 45% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zakai | 18 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Feyk シ | 16 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | velonym | 9 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | longdick$tyle☂ | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | 91an | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feyk シ | 1504 | 0.19 | 43 min |
| #2 | velonym | 1154 | 0.09 | 28 min |
| #3 | Zakai | 449 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | longdick$tyle☂ | 325 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | BeaverN☂ | 166 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | velonym | +3.33 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | Zakai | +0.50 | 54 | 62 |
| #3 | Feyk シ | +0.46 | 67 | 71 |
| #4 | ✪ Egoo | -0.48 | 62 | 66 |
| #5 | BeaverN☂ | -1.18 | 67 | 46 |





