








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1131 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1663 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1294 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1603 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $908,506 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeaverN☂ | 57% | 40 |
| #2 | velonym | 51% | 167 |
| #3 | ✪ Egoo | 50% | 131 |
| #4 | Zakai | 50% | 110 |
| #5 | Feyk シ | 49% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | velonym | 51% | 167 |
| #3 | ✪ Egoo | 50% | 131 |
| #4 | Zakai | 50% | 110 |
| #5 | Feyk シ | 49% | 173 |
| #6 | longdick$tyle☂ | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feyk シ | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | ✪ Egoo | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | velonym | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | longdick$tyle☂ | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Zakai | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feyk シ | 683 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | ✪ Egoo | 373 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | velonym | 299 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Zakai | 191 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | longdick$tyle☂ | 119 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | velonym | +2.45 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | Feyk シ | +0.86 | 66 | 67 |
| #3 | Zakai | +0.82 | 58 | 62 |
| #4 | ✪ Egoo | -0.57 | 60 | 67 |
| #5 | 91an | -0.72 | 53 | 53 |





