








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 80 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 774 | 29% |
| Smokes | 526 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 665 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 738 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $383,586 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deepsit0 | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | bobenheimer | 59% | 75 |
| #3 | lake michigan | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | Branco | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Fewwi | 52% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pasta booth | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Spoody | 7 | 0.0365 |
| #3 | Vojnik Armir | 4 | 0.0153 |
| #4 | Branco | 3 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | bobenheimer | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fewwi | 257 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | pasta booth | 237 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | bobenheimer | 104 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | lake michigan | 61 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | austincs_ | 55 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | austincs_ | +3.35 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | lake michigan | +2.07 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | deepsit0 | +1.83 | 52 | 68 |
| #4 | bobenheimer | +1.64 | 63 | 67 |
| #5 | Skvatnan | +1.62 | 69 | 57 |





