








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 232 matches | ||
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3800 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2958 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3843 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4199 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3045 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,049,848 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skvatnan | 59% | 75 |
| #2 | austincs_ | 58% | 64 |
| #3 | Branco | 55% | 76 |
| #4 | Spoody | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Vojnik Armir | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Spoody | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Vojnik Armir | 51% | 41 |
| #6 | lake michigan | 50% | 214 |
| #7 | pasta booth | 50% | 201 |
| #8 | Fewwi | 50% | 337 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pasta booth | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Fewwi | 13 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | lake michigan | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Spoody | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | austincs_ | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fewwi | 1018 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #2 | pasta booth | 697 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #3 | lake michigan | 270 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #4 | austincs_ | 239 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | Branco | 140 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | austincs_ | +4.81 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | lake michigan | +2.25 | 84 | 58 |
| #3 | Skvatnan | +1.68 | 69 | 58 |
| #4 | bobenheimer | +1.02 | 62 | 63 |
| #5 | Spoody | +0.91 | 68 | 62 |





