








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 878 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4972 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,380 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6150 | 35% |
| Smokes | 6102 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1183 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 3945 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,546,411 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 730 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moo | 52% | 98 |
| #2 | fishy | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | Glitchy | 50% | 50 |
| #4 | Nud0^J | 50% | 84 |
| #5 | PaQeZ | 48% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ian | 47% | 352 |
| #8 | et | 47% | 150 |
| #9 | shadow wizard money gang | 46% | 158 |
| #10 | Kai | 46% | 116 |
| #11 | Sam Darnold | 38% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ian | 18 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Kai | 17 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | et | 16 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | shadow wizard money gang | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | moo | 8 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ian | 1386 | 0.18 | 41 min |
| #2 | moo | 465 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #3 | shadow wizard money gang | 344 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Nud0^J | 295 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | Kai | 229 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nud0^J | +2.96 | 86 | 71 |
| #2 | Kai | +2.74 | 76 | 58 |
| #3 | moo | +1.79 | 82 | 64 |
| #4 | Topolino | +1.24 | 78 | 69 |
| #5 | fishy | +1.19 | 77 | 55 |





