








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 946 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 464 matches | ||
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9770 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,716 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10484 | 28% |
| Smokes | 10378 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6599 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 10255 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,575,030 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 356 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fishy | 51% | 136 |
| #2 | et | 51% | 131 |
| #3 | v0lt | 51% | 73 |
| #4 | moo | 51% | 492 |
| #5 | Kai | 49% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kai | 49% | 136 |
| #6 | Horny Cartoon Wolf | 47% | 137 |
| #7 | Topolino | 47% | 352 |
| #8 | Sam Darnold | 46% | 69 |
| #9 | shadow wizard money gang | 46% | 346 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai | 17 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | moo | 14 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | shadow wizard money gang | 14 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Topolino | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Horny Cartoon Wolf | 10 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moo | 2565 | 0.24 | 65 min |
| #2 | Topolino | 1282 | 0.17 | 37 min |
| #3 | shadow wizard money gang | 745 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #4 | fishy | 617 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #5 | Kai | 267 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai | +3.29 | 77 | 58 |
| #2 | moo | +1.67 | 82 | 64 |
| #3 | Topolino | +0.94 | 77 | 69 |
| #4 | fishy | +0.49 | 72 | 54 |
| #5 | ian | +0.44 | 67 | 66 |





