








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 342 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3408 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2048 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2122 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2095 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2143 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,431,326 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | et | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | Kai | 52% | 73 |
| #3 | Topolino | 46% | 158 |
| #4 | ian | 46% | 346 |
| #5 | moo | 46% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Kai | 52% | 73 |
| #3 | Topolino | 46% | 158 |
| #4 | ian | 46% | 346 |
| #5 | moo | 46% | 85 |
| #6 | Horny Cartoon Wolf | 44% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ian | 15 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Topolino | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | moo | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Horny Cartoon Wolf | 9 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Kai | 5 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ian | 1434 | 0.20 | 41 min |
| #2 | Topolino | 530 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | moo | 406 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #4 | Kai | 162 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Horny Cartoon Wolf | 75 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai | +4.40 | 78 | 57 |
| #2 | Topolino | +2.66 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | moo | +2.52 | 83 | 66 |
| #4 | ian | +1.62 | 70 | 68 |
| #5 | shadow wizard money gang | -1.77 | 52 | 41 |





