








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2040 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,322 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 425 | 13% |
| Smokes | 820 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 904 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1173 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,777,442 of utility $262 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shadow wizard money gang | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | ian | 51% | 131 |
| #3 | Nud0^J | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | Topolino | 47% | 150 |
| #5 | Horny Cartoon Wolf | 46% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai | 19 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | ian | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Horny Cartoon Wolf | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Topolino | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Sam Darnold | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Topolino | 597 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | ian | 515 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #3 | Kai | 436 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #4 | Sam Darnold | 226 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Horny Cartoon Wolf | 156 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nud0^J | +5.12 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | Kai | +4.44 | 78 | 62 |
| #3 | ian | +2.45 | 64 | 69 |
| #4 | Topolino | +2.13 | 75 | 69 |
| #5 | Sam Darnold | -0.73 | 54 | 47 |





