








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
207 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 169 | 31% |
| Smokes | 135 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 89 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 154 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $96,590 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capitaine Cool | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | jajat | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | The G's Plug | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | STk_ #FROMHELL | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | kungler_ | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capitaine Cool | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | jajat | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | The G's Plug | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | STk_ #FROMHELL | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | kungler_ | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capitaine Cool | 3 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capitaine Cool | 50 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | jajat | 23 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | kungler_ | 17 | 0.29 | 0 min |
| #4 | The G's Plug | 13 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | STk_ #FROMHELL | 4 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jajat | +1.74 | 45 | 50 |
| #2 | The G's Plug | +1.68 | 72 | 71 |
| #3 | Capitaine Cool | +1.55 | 79 | 58 |
| #4 | kungler_ | +1.35 | 53 | 49 |
| #5 | Bilzeiboube | -0.93 | 49 | 53 |





