








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 837 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 80 matches | ||
| Wingman | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




104 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7441 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4352 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4326 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3242 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4969 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,223,289 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jchancE | 88% | 40 |
| #2 | ven | 79% | 33 |
| #3 | Rise | 73% | 63 |
| #4 | meap | 71% | 34 |
| #5 | ♡ ◠ ◡ ◠ ♡ | 69% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoomInMyBoom | 14 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | styrofoamdonkey15 | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | ♡ ◠ ◡ ◠ ♡ | 8 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | kita | 7 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | meap | 6 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | styrofoamdonkey15 | 473 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | CoomInMyBoom | 242 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #3 | Rise | 188 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | ♡ ◠ ◡ ◠ ♡ | 139 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | ven | 100 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jchancE | +9.13 | 97 | 51 |
| #2 | assass1n | +4.57 | 87 | 55 |
| #3 | ven | +4.02 | 86 | 65 |
| #4 | CoomInMyBoom | +2.24 | 91 | 54 |
| #5 | Rise | +1.37 | 79 | 66 |





