








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 486 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3621 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2511 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2708 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2368 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $750,355 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 248 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [$] | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Perszu | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | borek | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Kinematograf | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | sweet ymmij | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ♿Brzeszczot | 46% | 24 |
| #10 | Al3x | 45% | 65 |
| #11 | squ.! | 38% | 13 |
| #12 | Black Cat | 38% | 92 |
| #13 | Lyssa | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Black Cat | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | eMG | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Perszu | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | ♿Brzeszczot | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Al3x | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaur | 648 | 0.29 | 20 min |
| #2 | eMG | 315 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Al3x | 162 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Perszu | 147 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | ImmortalliS | 142 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [$] | +3.66 | 74 | 72 |
| #2 | ImmortalliS | +2.77 | 89 | 72 |
| #3 | squ.! | +2.65 | 73 | 54 |
| #4 | Perszu | +2.34 | 78 | 83 |
| #5 | sweet ymmij | +1.45 | 75 | 66 |





