








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
497 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 536 | 18% |
| Smokes | 789 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 697 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 917 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $222,750 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OK | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | MrBitsch | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | ☣ mere ☣ | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | Looten und Leveln | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Captain Magma | 48% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Namio | 46% | 35 |
| #7 | Waltrude | 44% | 45 |
| #8 | 「Insanity」Jenslyツ | 43% | 42 |
| #9 | PandaFeatBear | 40% | 5 |
| #10 | h0nk ~.~ | 37% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Magma | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | 「Insanity」Jenslyツ | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Looten und Leveln | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | h0nk ~.~ | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Namio | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waltrude | 127 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Captain Magma | 121 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | 「Insanity」Jenslyツ | 114 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Namio | 106 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Looten und Leveln | 100 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Looten und Leveln | +3.43 | 58 | 65 |
| #2 | PandaFeatBear | +2.90 | 49 | 84 |
| #3 | OK | +1.63 | 61 | 86 |
| #4 | 「Insanity」Jenslyツ | +1.60 | 66 | 78 |
| #5 | Waltrude | +1.49 | 72 | 57 |





