










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 971 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 142 matches | ||
| Faceit | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10671 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 53,566 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14400 | 27% |
| Smokes | 14913 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 12348 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 11905 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,631,503 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sand | 62% | 100 |
| #2 | IceCK | 52% | 396 |
| #3 | barbados slim | 52% | 555 |
| #4 | master yoda | 52% | 369 |
| #5 | mapppp | 52% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | IceCK | 52% | 396 |
| #3 | barbados slim | 52% | 555 |
| #4 | master yoda | 52% | 369 |
| #5 | mapppp | 52% | 217 |
| #6 | angsim1 | 52% | 316 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IceCK | 24 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | barbados slim | 16 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | angsim1 | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | mapppp | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | master yoda | 6 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barbados slim | 1302 | 0.12 | 29 min |
| #2 | angsim1 | 1200 | 0.19 | 31 min |
| #3 | IceCK | 1153 | 0.15 | 30 min |
| #4 | master yoda | 1009 | 0.13 | 28 min |
| #5 | mapppp | 817 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | master yoda | +1.64 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | barbados slim | +1.07 | 76 | 61 |
| #3 | mapppp | +0.92 | 77 | 66 |
| #4 | IceCK | +0.78 | 70 | 60 |
| #5 | angsim1 | +0.38 | 84 | 68 |





