








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 745 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,092 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8480 | 40% |
| Smokes | 5864 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4659 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2089 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,020,382 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1439 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barbados slim | 65% | 94 |
| #2 | master yoda | 62% | 69 |
| #3 | IceCK | 58% | 98 |
| #4 | angsim1 | 53% | 156 |
| #5 | Bismarck | 52% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barbados slim | 65% | 94 |
| #2 | master yoda | 62% | 69 |
| #3 | IceCK | 58% | 98 |
| #4 | angsim1 | 53% | 156 |
| #5 | Bismarck | 52% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bismarck | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | IceCK | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | angsim1 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | master yoda | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | barbados slim | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bismarck | 706 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | angsim1 | 617 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #3 | IceCK | 282 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | barbados slim | 239 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | master yoda | 213 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | master yoda | +2.97 | 76 | 65 |
| #2 | barbados slim | +1.73 | 76 | 60 |
| #3 | mapppp | +1.50 | 76 | 67 |
| #4 | angsim1 | +0.48 | 81 | 67 |
| #5 | IceCK | -0.11 | 67 | 61 |





