








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 316 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 68 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8218 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6457 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5277 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5884 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $846,446 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 321 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barbados slim | 55% | 162 |
| #2 | IceCK | 54% | 219 |
| #3 | mapppp | 53% | 156 |
| #4 | Bismarck | 52% | 316 |
| #5 | master yoda | 46% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bismarck | 1060 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #2 | IceCK | 621 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #3 | mapppp | 546 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #4 | barbados slim | 464 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #5 | master yoda | 325 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | master yoda | +1.55 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | barbados slim | +1.34 | 76 | 63 |
| #3 | angsim1 | +1.07 | 85 | 66 |
| #4 | mapppp | +0.90 | 73 | 66 |
| #5 | IceCK | +0.48 | 71 | 59 |





