








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 604 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 86 matches | ||
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7721 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8425 | 42% |
| Smokes | 4564 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3223 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3936 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $970,902 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 459 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sage | 55% | 71 |
| #4 | barbados slim | 55% | 148 |
| #5 | angsim1 | 54% | 219 |
| #6 | Bismarck | 52% | 396 |
| #7 | master yoda | 47% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bismarck | 25 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | angsim1 | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Sage | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | barbados slim | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | master yoda | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bismarck | 1314 | 0.16 | 29 min |
| #2 | angsim1 | 823 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #3 | master yoda | 420 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | barbados slim | 406 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | mapppp | 341 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | master yoda | +1.67 | 76 | 67 |
| #2 | mapppp | +1.29 | 77 | 66 |
| #3 | Sage | +1.16 | 72 | 70 |
| #4 | barbados slim | +0.84 | 77 | 65 |
| #5 | IceCK | +0.84 | 71 | 60 |





