








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 377 | 31% |
| Smokes | 207 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 417 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 214 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $589,915 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | angsim1 | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | master yoda | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | barbados slim | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | mapppp | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | IceCK | 64% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | barbados slim | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | mapppp | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | IceCK | 64% | 22 |
| #6 | Bismarck | 62% | 100 |
| #7 | mkgormo | 58% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bismarck | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | IceCK | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | mkgormo | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | barbados slim | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | master yoda | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bismarck | 388 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | mkgormo | 87 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | angsim1 | 69 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | IceCK | 55 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | mapppp | 54 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barbados slim | +4.43 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | IceCK | +3.51 | 65 | 59 |
| #3 | master yoda | +3.10 | 64 | 70 |
| #4 | angsim1 | +2.35 | 86 | 67 |
| #5 | Bismarck | +1.90 | 54 | 68 |





