








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 95 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2659 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,372 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 903 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2000 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1899 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1570 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $410,214 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SNAK3 | 79% | 24 |
| #2 | KOLO | 73% | 22 |
| #3 | MC_Madness | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | ¤Space¤Monkey¤ | 66% | 149 |
| #5 | SpacePugz | 61% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¤Space¤Monkey¤ | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | (sic) | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Jameis Winston | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Goomba | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | wizzLe ✩ | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MC_Madness | +4.23 | 74 | 63 |
| #2 | Goomba | +2.69 | 73 | 55 |
| #3 | ThePhantomReaper | +2.52 | 69 | 43 |
| #4 | Dxlph | +1.74 | 58 | 65 |
| #5 | (sic) | +1.43 | 59 | 65 |





