








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 500 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 328 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5583 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,046 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6658 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6014 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 7668 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6706 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,410,718 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -sant0- | 56% | 96 |
| #2 | Dolphin | 54% | 178 |
| #3 | Kenny S | 54% | 114 |
| #4 | pike | 52% | 90 |
| #5 | FC | 50% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | pike | 52% | 90 |
| #5 | FC | 50% | 173 |
| #6 | Iznoanygod | 49% | 505 |
| #7 | GuiHori | 47% | 501 |
| #8 | The Flying Dutchman | 44% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iznoanygod | 10 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | FC | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | GuiHori | 6 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Dolphin | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | -sant0- | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dolphin | 663 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #2 | The Flying Dutchman | 599 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | FC | 576 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #4 | Kenny S | 417 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #5 | GuiHori | 281 | 0.03 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dolphin | +4.48 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | Kenny S | +2.75 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | FC | +2.13 | 78 | 66 |
| #4 | pike | +0.69 | 69 | 49 |
| #5 | GuiHori | -0.22 | 54 | 54 |





