








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4054 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3839 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4553 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3232 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4007 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $803,718 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plasmx | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | pike | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | Iznoanygod | 55% | 64 |
| #4 | 0p7day | 54% | 114 |
| #5 | adapt | 53% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -sant0- | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | FC | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | 0p7day | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | adapt | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | The Flying Dutchman | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -sant0- | 609 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #2 | 0p7day | 328 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | The Flying Dutchman | 256 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | adapt | 200 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | FC | 162 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenny S | +2.00 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | FC | +1.60 | 73 | 65 |
| #3 | Plasmx | +1.29 | 83 | 52 |
| #4 | Iznoanygod | +0.37 | 74 | 54 |
| #5 | pike | -0.10 | 69 | 58 |





