










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 105 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2016 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,355 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 644 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1898 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1501 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2312 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,919 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PsYcHo | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | ThePhantomReaper | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | ImDrunky | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | SNAK3 | 59% | 32 |
| #5 | ¤Space¤Monkey¤ | 59% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | (sic) | 56% | 54 |
| #8 | KOLO | 53% | 17 |
| #9 | Imma Dog | 50% | 12 |
| #10 | wizzLe ✩ | 45% | 38 |
| #11 | +T3kNiQue | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (sic) | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | ¤Space¤Monkey¤ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | wizzLe ✩ | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Imma Dog | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | PsYcHo | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (sic) | 204 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | ¤Space¤Monkey¤ | 115 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | wizzLe ✩ | 62 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | PsYcHo | 61 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | ImDrunky | 48 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MC_Madness | +2.89 | 75 | 52 |
| #2 | PsYcHo | +2.72 | 50 | 60 |
| #3 | ImDrunky | +2.43 | 67 | 48 |
| #4 | (sic) | +0.89 | 59 | 70 |
| #5 | ThePhantomReaper | +0.27 | 62 | 38 |





