








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2253 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2355 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1018 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 872 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $943,781 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SNAK3 | 91% | 22 |
| #2 | ¤Space¤Monkey¤ | 69% | 61 |
| #3 | Azzy | 62% | 47 |
| #4 | Sunny | 61% | 57 |
| #5 | THe bron Jame | 56% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | dragonspark9 | 41% | 22 |
| #12 | timid | 40% | 20 |
| #13 | ko | 39% | 23 |
| #14 | Smoothment | 38% | 24 |
| #15 | +T3kNiQue | 29% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunny | 406 | 0.36 | 13 min |
| #2 | acoustic fresh toast | 227 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Azzy | 214 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | Swagpig_01 | 129 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | ¤Space¤Monkey¤ | 78 | 0.06 | 2 min |





