








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,458 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1131 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1676 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1321 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1330 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $719,950 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ernest | 50% | 30 |
| #2 | Bleach | 47% | 55 |
| #3 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | 43% | 21 |
| #4 | yeEhAmMer | 42% | 24 |
| #5 | opendeur | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bleach | 47% | 55 |
| #3 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | 43% | 21 |
| #4 | yeEhAmMer | 42% | 24 |
| #5 | opendeur | 40% | 25 |
| #6 | Mytt3 | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bleach | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Mytt3 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | opendeur | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bleach | 220 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | Mytt3 | 169 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | opendeur | 80 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | yeEhAmMer | 80 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | ernest | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | +2.85 | 73 | 27 |
| #2 | Mytt3 | +1.75 | 63 | 56 |
| #3 | opendeur | +1.62 | 77 | 69 |
| #4 | chrEEz | +0.25 | 60 | 52 |
| #5 | yeEhAmMer | -0.91 | 45 | 78 |





