








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 451 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,317 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8043 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6561 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6727 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4986 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,105,998 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 276 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xX_C00ch13L0rd36_Xx | 54% | 39 |
| #2 | chrEEz | 47% | 55 |
| #3 | Mytt3 | 46% | 172 |
| #4 | ernest | 45% | 124 |
| #5 | yeEhAmMer | 45% | 234 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ernest | 45% | 124 |
| #5 | yeEhAmMer | 45% | 234 |
| #6 | opendeur | 43% | 182 |
| #7 | ZARKywOw | 42% | 59 |
| #8 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | 40% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeEhAmMer | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | 8 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Mytt3 | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | chrEEz | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | ZARKywOw | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeEhAmMer | 763 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #2 | Mytt3 | 718 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #3 | opendeur | 630 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #4 | ZARKywOw | 222 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | ernest | 191 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | +2.62 | 73 | 38 |
| #2 | Mytt3 | +1.36 | 59 | 63 |
| #3 | opendeur | +1.20 | 69 | 68 |
| #4 | chrEEz | +0.09 | 61 | 50 |
| #5 | xX_C00ch13L0rd36_Xx | -0.45 | 43 | 66 |





