








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 852 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 332 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1824 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3317 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3699 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2819 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,796,435 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | opendeur | 964 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #2 | xX_C00ch13L0rd36_Xx | 546 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | Tinkeri | 325 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | eros | 288 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #5 | Mytt3 | 269 | 0.17 | 6 min |





