








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,331 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3636 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3000 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2927 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2768 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $602,513 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swede | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | ZARKywOw | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | 48% | 67 |
| #4 | Bleach | 45% | 234 |
| #5 | Mytt3 | 44% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ernest | 44% | 87 |
| #7 | xX_C00ch13L0rd36_Xx | 43% | 23 |
| #8 | chrEEz | 42% | 24 |
| #9 | opendeur | 41% | 108 |
| #10 | Kapten Ekis | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bleach | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | 12 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Mytt3 | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | opendeur | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ZARKywOw | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bleach | 933 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #2 | Mytt3 | 518 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #3 | opendeur | 400 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | ernest | 129 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | ZARKywOw | 102 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ Van Man ⛟ | +3.51 | 74 | 40 |
| #2 | opendeur | +1.57 | 70 | 68 |
| #3 | Mytt3 | +1.51 | 60 | 65 |
| #4 | Kapten Ekis | -0.05 | 48 | 59 |
| #5 | chrEEz | -0.47 | 61 | 57 |





